20050409
we talked last night and i suddenly realised that.
sometimes we're so caught up in our own worlds that we dont notice the small things that happen to us.
the small things that actually amount to great deal if you stop to think about it, even greater than the current situation that goes on everyday.
even greater than what you think matters to you most.
and we all fail to notice it because we simply dont think it matters.but seriously, when we started talking bout all the small details, we realised that they
do mean alot.
eating in class.sharing the food.trying to make everyone laugh but fail to.lunching together.then being late for class after break.most of the time, chinese.and liu lao shi's lessons always bring back the most memories, maybe because we often interrupt her with our cold jokes and qian bian wen da ti.
but, do you all notice that she doesnt mind, and that she never fails to come up with one herself?and the times we laughed the most was during chinese.what about those times when either of us got into trouble?like that time jiaomei took away mellissa's chair during history and she sat hard on the floor?everyone had a great laugh.or that time estelle broke a testube during mrs wong's class.or that time chang e wore her fbts the other way round during trng, twice.or that time we all scribbled on my piece of paper, and i still have it.to all of you they may be nothing, but to me, they're
sweet nothings that matter.
i dont know why i do remember the small things that everyone does, but it hurts when you bring it up and the person doesnt seem to have any recollection.everyone's so caught up.growing up isnt all about studying, or excelling in your own goals you know.you cant go around ditiching those who come in your way, or keeping to yourself because if you stop to help you'll loose out, neither do you pretend that everything's alright when its not.if you dont voice out, how do others try to help if they dont even know?you cant expect us to know on our own.what about some of us who
do care?do you know it gets frustrating when you have to keep guessing what someone's feeling/thinking because she refuses to express.but we still do simply because we care.or at least
i do.
everyone went hey, you can always try again.how many actually do understand that it wasnt about winning?ive let myself down.it was under-performance.i let a chance slip through my hands.and now ive to wait; but to those who know how i really felt, i cant express myself on how thankful i am. (:
and she said she feels hurt whenever she tries to find out more bout her sister's happenings but all she says is, why must i tell you?right, thanks alot.that really hurt.its not like we're not making the effort to try to understand our siblings.but its difficult sometimes, really.you think we wont understand because we're younger?but hey, you dont know.you dont know that somewhere out there, there's still someone here for you.i know sometimes you really dont feel like talking.dont you realise that its not that i have an attitude towards mum and dad?its just that i dont know what to say and they keep on probing.esp her.would you just look at her.oh oops you cant, cause guess what, shes away again.like im sorry she has to travel that much?we both know its difficult for her but shouldnt she too make an effort.or maybe we just dont notice.i dont know.but i do know that many years down the road and when we look back, i'll still be thankful (because i already am now) that i have a sister here to guide me through everything.
my mum's flying to perth tomorrow morning.and this morning after sao mu ing at the place she didnt let me have breakfast w the others because apparently there's om later at 5 and six hrs of studying aint enough.hey, there's still sunday you know.and obviously you cant see it that i get my work done because you're away, so its a no no.
anyway its just breakfast would i stop harping on it.shes sorry she cant be here already.
gah these two voices keep talking in my head.
and.
shes not treating you right and i feel wretched that i cant help.im sorry :(
and years later when i go through my blog i'll probably go, OH BOY WHAT AN ANGSTY LIFE I USED TO LEAD.hahahahahaha.
fuzzy logic-;
10:48 AM
